It breaks my heart when I see people not wanting to grow, not reaching for that growth. Every day for me is a burning that I really in my heart and soul never wish to inflict on anyone else. But for me to serve, I have to completely destroy today everything that exists within myself from yesterday, and tomorrow everything from today, so that I don’t crystallize, so that I don’t become secure and think I’ve gone far enough to qualify for what somebody else calls enlightenment. I don’t want that. I want to die open, and I want to go up. All of the intelligence, all of the crystallization, all of the intellectualism, all of the everything else can stay here and be eaten by those people who want to eat, like jackals, the truth of yesterday. It is only a dead truth.
Truth is the continual destruction within yourself of everything that existed one moment before. And if you have a need in yourself to hold onto anything, then you will not only not have a realization, but you will not have within yourself the sense of service to other people. You will be a person who is offering death to other people because you don’t have the capacity to go through the cycle of rebirth and death in yourself continually. Either you want to grow in such a depth that you feel the cycle of death and rebirth in you at all times, or you don’t qualify to really do this work.
We have undoubtedly the most difficult spiritual work that is available. And you have to make up your mind whether you really wish to grow, whether you really wish to surrender you, or you wish to hold onto six million extraneous things which haven’t nourished anybody for ten thousand years. It is not the past that is needed, it is the moment that is needed, it is the capacity within you to assimilate the energy as it comes into the universe fresh. This energy has to go into you and root out everything in you that existed, not only in this life, but in every past life. The only thing I promise you is an extraordinary life, a very remarkable life. You will see, in yourself and in the connection that you have with other people, a very living and creative experience. It will break your heart thousands of times as you see, no matter how deeply people say they’re looking, how extraordinary they are in their creative capacity to avoid finding. Most creative capacity in human beings is expressed by their unconscious ability to not find what they say they are looking for. It is unbelievable how many people can make a stream that is a million miles long of a coincidence to get them out of doing, and they can’t cross the street to do. And that is what has continually destroyed people who say they wish to grow. They stop growing because they don’t have within themselves the energy to sustain their search and their evolvement. It is really a dedication within yourself to reach towards this endlessness which has to do with our creative capacity.
We have to be like any other organic thing that lives. We have to live fresh every day. Not trying to live in the past, but really open and allow this energy to come into us and allow ourselves to burn out whatever was. We take in this energy and loosen up deeply within ourselves. We free ourselves from this unconsciousness that’s so strongly embedded within us, and we find we can breathe. And we find that these chakras that we have are not limited to our physical body, but they really reach out into infinity and we can draw from thousands of years and millions of miles of energy that we need. Spirituality should not be so many words, it should be a living reality within ourselves that we can come to every single day. We can see our world expand, we can feel every muscle within us open and it becomes nourishment which frees us. It frees our heart, it frees our eyes, it frees our mind, it frees every chakra within us so that we’re not the slave of these organs. We really are free to feed them and have them expand and have them flow on to the other and bring us the nourishment which allows us to get above the earth.
This article was written by Rudy.